| Body Language: Picture Perfect PostureThe Comfort Zone: Physical Proximity and Sales
Read the Sign: Are You Boring Your Prospects?Unlock Your Secret Weapon: 3 Ways to Win Customers With Your SmileAre You Turning Off Potential Buyers?
Author of "The Yes Factor"
Kevin Hogan : Author of
"The Psychology of Persuasion"
Gary May: Founder of "The
Association of Sales Professionals"
Gestures Reinforce Your MessageYour Eyes Show Emotion!Negotiate In Your Favor!How Your Body Language
Dave Lakhani Author of
"Persuasion – The Art
of Getting What You Want"
Can Convey Trust
Keys to a Great First Impression!The Secret Language of Business
Mark Victor Hansen,
founder and co-creator of
"Chicken Soup for the Soul"
is Nonverbal CommunicationPast and Future Based QuestioningEffectively Communicating Your
Point of View
Gestures in Business: Cultural Differences? A Great Impression - It's all in
Author of "Simpleology"
your hand (shake)!How to Spot a Liar!Persuade Others by Simply
Using Your Head!
"Eliot provided some real insight into how non-verbal communication can influence the persuasion process."
"Learning that gestures can send a non-conscious communication either matching the verbal message or disagreeing was extremely beneficial for all my future speaking engagements."
"Powerful, to the point, content rich this guy delivers the goods!"
"Sincere useful information that will become an asset to any business experience. Eliot is a body-language whisperer."
"Eliot Hoppe has an entertaining way of bringing home to power of non-verbal communication and its pre-eminent importance in persuasive business."
"Eliot's command of body language is only surpassed by his ability to communicate the nuances of a language that most people take for granted. Great content and advice that I will put to work this very day."
"Eliot, that was an excellent presentation. Great information on body language. I will use the information immediately. Thank you."
"Eliot is the MASTER of
"Eliot Hoppe is an energetic and exciting speaker. He couples humor with valuable information to deliver a truly fabulous presentation."
"Eliot was fantastic in presenting to us today about body language. His message came across clearly with just the right amount of humor. I look forward to having him present in my training groups in the future."
"Eliot taught me very quickly about the importance of body language and how quickly what my non verbal communication is perceived by the people I come in contact with."
"Eliot is informative, humorous, engaging – his style is approachable and extremely useful...applies to work and personal life – immediately applicable! Inspiring Speaker!"
"Eliot, Terrific presentation! Thank you for making me realize how to give and accept a proper handshake. Looking eagerly forward to more from you!"
"A very fun, warm and sincere fellow. The aspects of body language that he reveals are instantly useable and effective. Easy to trust and likeable."
"I felt the information he relayed was very powerful and immediately useable. He has a very relaxed style and is very funny. He was enjoyable to listen to."
"Eliot's gentle, welcoming manner reveals his knowledge in non-verbal communication. He not only delivered great information he was very entertaining and everyone in the room enjoyed the experience!"
"I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation as in just a matter of minutes I learned a lot about body language that I can definitely use in everyday living. Good job."
"Eliot is a fantastic presenter who offers both great actionable content and the ability to break it down so that people at all levels of your organization can relate."
"I loved the information on how to counteract someone who is trying to pull a 'power play' while shaking hands. Thanks – great info!"
"My experience of Eliot's public speaking was profound and absolutely enjoyable. He demonstrates solid and definite clarity with information that is worthwhile and beneficial for me. An adept and admirable professional."
Effectively Communicating Your Point of View
How often have you heard "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all". Well, there is some merit in that advice.
In the workplace or in our personal lives, there will be times when we disagree with someone's strategy, comment or opinion. This is human nature and fully expected. After all, some of the best ideas and solutions come from "disagreements" which are productive in nature – that's called critical thinking, brainstorming or constructive dialogue.
However, sometimes we may have a tendency to lash out, defend our values and beliefs or even instigate a disagreement which becomes malicious in nature and effect. This type of communication is catastrophic to everyone who may be directly or indirectly involved.
Let's take a look.
Organizations base their success on the people that they employ. Corporate and team culture is created by the people that make up that organization. A combative communication environment within any organization is a train wreck waiting to happen.
When the lines of internal communication are compromised, division between people and teams can occur. In corporate terms, these are called "silos". Silos are teams or individuals who make the conscious choice to become distant and independent of others. Quite often, people become emotionally charged and issues become personal. Once this destructive behavior occurs, immediate intervention to open the lines of communication between opposing people or groups needs to be initiated. Failure to do so only manifests more animosity and anger.
Customers are also affected.
For example, imagine for a moment that you are in the Doctor's office for a check up. As he enters the room, you notice the Doctor's face is beet red and visibly distressed while shaking in anger from a personal disagreement he just had. How comfortable do you feel at this moment in the ability of the Doctor to help you and give you her undivided attention? Now assume that the subsequent visit ends in the same result. Now how will you react? Eventually, you will find a new Doctor as you draw some conclusions about the welfare and competence of the old Doctor. Realize, your customer would do the same.
Take for instance this scenario. You are entering a board room with members of your team, ready to present a solution which you and a team have collectively prepared. Upon arriving 15 minutes early, your team receives a text message that the other team has decided to cancel your meeting since they are opposed to your solution. They have decided to work on an alternate solution separately. How would you react? How would your team react?
Many people lack the knowledge of the difference between a constructive communication and deliberate antagonistic communication. The latter solves nothing.
No doubt, communication has to occur.
What we have to realize is that conflict in communication occurs not by managing the message but rather managing how the message is delivered.
And that simply boils down to choice.
And since we choose what we say and do, how we say and do "it", we also choose the short and long term consequence of our communication as well.
Here are a few communication strategies when dealing with someone who engages in conflictive communication.
1. Pause and reflect. Think through clearly as to how you are going to act or react. Don't fire off that quick email reply in haste if you are emotionally charged. Let some time pass before answering. Once your comments are sent by email, they are permanent and could be forwarded to anyone. The same pause and reflect principle applies to a verbal response as well.
2. Don't have an "I don't care" attitude. Remember this is a choice. If you have this destructive attitude towards yourself, others will reciprocate in the same manner and help you achieve your goal of self destruction.
3. when to "take the high road". Sometimes silence is golden. When somebody doesn't get a reaction that they're looking for, they often reflect. This internal dialogue is sometimes more powerful then that of a heated confrontational debate which isn't a solution. More often than not, after some time to reflect, an apology from that individual will follow and a reasonable dialogue, even if in disagreement, will ensue. The apology isn't reflective of their message or point, merely the demonstrated behavior when they tried to convey their message the first time.
5. People answer in kind. If you are respectful and well mannered, you can get anyone to enter into a discussion with you – about literally anything that questions the highest of values or beliefs – including hot topics such as religion, politics or abortion.
6. Govern your body language, gestures and tone of voice. Once again this is a choice. You can choose to become animated and loud or remain in control and calm. It's a misconception that the more animated you are, the more effective you are in getting your point across. Wrong. The squeaky wheel doesn't get the grease all the time. It only validates that they are in the presence of "an idiot out of control" and nobody wants to be associated with someone who appears to be…
Finally and most importantly, realize the impact of your actions on the most important person; your customer (who ultimately pays your salary) and those you love (who ultimately support you). Realize that your state of mind when communicating is your choice and that choice will be interpreted (or misinterpreted) by the very people that you are trying to build a long term relationship with.
And remember, it's ok to debate and disagree with one another. We're human and all different. Just choose to communicate your point with empathy, respect, dignity and courtesy.
Until next time,
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"I learned more about non-verbal communication in dealing with business than ever before. The information is extremely valuable. I will be able to use this information today to strengthen my business and personal relationships. Eliot is an extremely experienced communicator and we can all benefit from his information."
"I liked him instantly! Very smooth & comfortable to listen to. Great ability to connect with the audience. Was able to get the audience involved effortlessly. Both funny and educational. Great demonstrations of what he was teaching. Look forward to hearing more from him!"
"Fantastic seminar!! Eliot is an excellent and sincere speaker on the value of personal interaction. His demonstration of proper touch and handshake has been invaluable. Take advantage of the opportunity to attend an Eliot seminar on body language, you won't be disappointed."
"Eliot has helped me bridge my unconscious behavior with my actions to establish my true feelings. Thank you for the invaluable information."
"Eliot demonstrated real life subtleties of body language. This information will have a sure-fire effect on anybody who communicates for a living. Better communication means more $ for you and your customers. THANK YOU for the insights."
"Your presentation was absolutely wonderful! You were able to create a lot of interest in a subject that I've never had interest in. I'm curious to see your next one."
"I loved Eliot because I found his information on dominance in body language to be particularly valuable. I will definitely put this new knowledge to good use in my business and personal life."
"I thought I knew everything about body language, but you taught me more in the time you spoke than in many of the years I've studied the art of body language. You are an incredible, impressive and authentic speaker."
"Wow!!! Eliot taught me something that is absolutely part of every sales meeting I've ever been on or ever go to... Truly outstanding!"
"One of the greatest body language trainers I have encountered. Simply brilliant!"
"Wow, I was very impressed with Eliot's presentation and level of knowledge. He showed me things that I can use now. Great speaker."
"From hand shake to mind shake, Eliot delivers smooth, easy to learn and valuable information."
"Eliot's demonstration of the various unconscious signals a simple handshake is conveying really hit home. Great value!"
"The insights I learned from Eliot about the power plays of something as simple as a handshake was very insightful and I will never look at a handshake the same again and I am sure his technique that he taught me will give me an advantage in all situations – business or social. Thank you Eliot."
"Eliot was informative and entertaining. I was engaged every step of the way. A hand shake will never be a hand shake again!"
"Eliot's powerfully pragmatic demonstration of non-verbal communication will add directly to my bottom line in 2008. The edge I was looking for in my negotiation tool kit."
"Eliot had fascinating, new information on non-verbal communication that even I didn't know (and I know quite a bit about body language). Based on solid knowledge of NLP and proxemics, his principles are useful for any serious business audience. Highly recommended."
"It was interesting to learn and understand body language both spoken and unspoken. Shaking hands with another person will never be the same. It was a very pleasant experience to hear you speak."
"Eliot was an engaging and knowledgeable speaker. I learned a few things that I can apply immediately to my own work."
"Eliot is one of the most knowledgeable as well as likeable presenters I have had the pleasure of seeing. His information on the handshake/power play can instantly help you gain confidence when meeting new people."
"Eliot is an amazing speaker. He can really empower sales teams. I am confident that he can help me to achieve more."
"Eliot has a great handle on sales. His focus is on the really important stuff. The interpersonal relationships people have with their prospects. Really enjoyed his presentation to us."
"After decades of sales trainings and success in sales, I still didn't really know what goes on in a sale until I heard Eliot speak. At last, a true sales Master! And for once I not only stayed awake for the whole talk, but I couldn’t wait to hear more. Thank you Eliot for waking me up to a whole new sales world and even more success!"