| Body Language: Picture Perfect PostureThe Comfort Zone: Physical Proximity and Sales
Read the Sign: Are You Boring Your Prospects?Unlock Your Secret Weapon: 3 Ways to Win Customers With Your SmileAre You Turning Off Potential Buyers?
Author of "The Yes Factor"
Kevin Hogan : Author of
"The Psychology of Persuasion"
Gary May: Founder of "The
Association of Sales Professionals"
Gestures Reinforce Your MessageYour Eyes Show Emotion!Negotiate In Your Favor!How Your Body Language
Dave Lakhani Author of
"Persuasion – The Art
of Getting What You Want"
Can Convey Trust
Keys to a Great First Impression!The Secret Language of Business
Mark Victor Hansen,
founder and co-creator of
"Chicken Soup for the Soul"
is Nonverbal CommunicationPast and Future Based QuestioningEffectively Communicating Your
Point of View
Gestures in Business: Cultural Differences? A Great Impression - It's all in
Author of "Simpleology"
your hand (shake)!How to Spot a Liar!Persuade Others by Simply
Using Your Head!
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Body Language: How to Spot a Liar!
Interpreting your customer's body language is a necessary skill that every sales expert must be able to do.
Because, the inability to pick up and accurately interpret these signals will substantially limit your ability to close more business if gone unnoticed by you.
Today, we will focus on deceit.
You have probably heard these common sayings before:
"The eyes are the windows to your soul." This usually can be interpreted as knowing how you are truly ‘feeling' inside at any particular moment. This is why many poker players wear dark glasses during high stakes tournaments.
"Look at you, your nose is growing" is usually referred to when someone is suspected of telling a lie. This saying was made popular from the fictional character Pinocchio, whose nose would grow when he told a lie. Believe it or not, the nose does come into play when someone is not telling the truth.
Let's take a look at both of these critical elements when combined and how it can assist us during a sales call to understand how our customer is truly feeling at that specific moment.
During a sales call, our primary focus is on the other person's face. Mainly, we tend to focus in on the other person's eye area, commonly known as the ‘focal triangle'. This is the imaginary inverted triangle which spans across your eyes and down below the nose.
In North America, a comfortable amount of time looking at someone during a conversation would be approximately 70 percent and looking away the other 30 percent.
Now it is important to note that the average person has a blink rate of approximately 20 blinks per minute. This number will vary slightly between people. That is why it is important to note that when you first meet with anyone, you must immediately begin calibrating their body language through simple observation.
When someone is relaxed, so will be their blink rate, at whatever their "normal rate" is. Make a mental note of their normal blink rate. Look at the pupils as well. If they are interested and engaged, the pupils will be dilated, even in a well lit area.
At the same time, you will observe that while the other person is in a comfortable state; at no point will their hands ever touch the focal triangle of the face, namely the nose.
Throughout the sales call, there will be times when the person you are listening to can become anxious, uncertain, uncomfortable, uneasy and restless or yes, even creative in thought.
When this happens, there are a few things to pay attention to inside the triangle which will assist you in evaluating your next course of action during the conversation.
Imagine, you are listening to someone and your gut feeling about them is that of distrust and deceit. You have no proof - or do you?
When someone is anxious or being deceitful, they internally become uncomfortable and their blood pressure will rise. When the blood flow increases, the tiny blood vessels in the tip of the nose and ear lobes get engorged with blood making them feel itchy momentarily. You don't have any control over this.
Immediately and without knowing it, the other person will either rub the nose or tug at the ear or both to relieve the itch. Quite often, there is a ‘quick sniff' inhaled through the nose, which will accompany this sequence as well.
Simultaneously, the blink rate increases with the discomfort and you have the makings of a ‘story' or an outright lie being told.
Now add into the equation, you have observed that the person is right handed and rubbed their nose or tugged the ear with the left hand. Now we have even further proof that what is being heard is being fabricated, deceitful or an outright lie.
Why? Because the left hand is controlled by the right brain (creative side) which is where the hand gesture to rub the nose or tug the ear is being directed from, within the unconscious mind.
When put all together, we get a story without any words being said of how they feel and where the thought is generated.
Add the above together with the words that you hear and you can probably confirm that gut feeling about what is being said to you is of deceit or an outright fabricated story.
Note: If the other person is demonstrating these gestures as you are speaking, then you have hit an area of concern for them as they listen. You are not being perceived as being honest and your credibility is at stake. Immediately look at your own body language and make sure that you are not projecting dishonest signals yourself.
Pay close attention to what you are saying or the context in how you are delivering your message. It is wise to not proceed further with your sales presentation until you can uncover why the other person is displaying these signals with you. This is a great time to ‘check in' with your customer before going any further. Simply ask any question such as "So Mrs. Customer, what are your thoughts on what I've just said?"
If you want to practice your observation skills and have some fun time, then begin to hone your body language skills by simply asking a close friend to tell you a fabricated story, off the cuff and then sit back and observe.
Remember, all of this happens quite quickly, so you have to pay close attention and not miss the subtle signs.
Until next week,
Great selling everyone!
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"I learned more about non-verbal communication in dealing with business than ever before. The information is extremely valuable. I will be able to use this information today to strengthen my business and personal relationships. Eliot is an extremely experienced communicator and we can all benefit from his information."
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"Fantastic seminar!! Eliot is an excellent and sincere speaker on the value of personal interaction. His demonstration of proper touch and handshake has been invaluable. Take advantage of the opportunity to attend an Eliot seminar on body language, you won't be disappointed."
"Eliot has helped me bridge my unconscious behavior with my actions to establish my true feelings. Thank you for the invaluable information."
"Eliot demonstrated real life subtleties of body language. This information will have a sure-fire effect on anybody who communicates for a living. Better communication means more $ for you and your customers. THANK YOU for the insights."
"Your presentation was absolutely wonderful! You were able to create a lot of interest in a subject that I've never had interest in. I'm curious to see your next one."
"I loved Eliot because I found his information on dominance in body language to be particularly valuable. I will definitely put this new knowledge to good use in my business and personal life."
"I thought I knew everything about body language, but you taught me more in the time you spoke than in many of the years I've studied the art of body language. You are an incredible, impressive and authentic speaker."
"Wow!!! Eliot taught me something that is absolutely part of every sales meeting I've ever been on or ever go to... Truly outstanding!"
"One of the greatest body language trainers I have encountered. Simply brilliant!"
"Wow, I was very impressed with Eliot's presentation and level of knowledge. He showed me things that I can use now. Great speaker."
"From hand shake to mind shake, Eliot delivers smooth, easy to learn and valuable information."
"Eliot's demonstration of the various unconscious signals a simple handshake is conveying really hit home. Great value!"
"The insights I learned from Eliot about the power plays of something as simple as a handshake was very insightful and I will never look at a handshake the same again and I am sure his technique that he taught me will give me an advantage in all situations – business or social. Thank you Eliot."
"Eliot was informative and entertaining. I was engaged every step of the way. A hand shake will never be a hand shake again!"
"Eliot's powerfully pragmatic demonstration of non-verbal communication will add directly to my bottom line in 2008. The edge I was looking for in my negotiation tool kit."
"Eliot had fascinating, new information on non-verbal communication that even I didn't know (and I know quite a bit about body language). Based on solid knowledge of NLP and proxemics, his principles are useful for any serious business audience. Highly recommended."
"It was interesting to learn and understand body language both spoken and unspoken. Shaking hands with another person will never be the same. It was a very pleasant experience to hear you speak."
"Eliot was an engaging and knowledgeable speaker. I learned a few things that I can apply immediately to my own work."
"Eliot is one of the most knowledgeable as well as likeable presenters I have had the pleasure of seeing. His information on the handshake/power play can instantly help you gain confidence when meeting new people."
"Eliot is an amazing speaker. He can really empower sales teams. I am confident that he can help me to achieve more."
"Eliot has a great handle on sales. His focus is on the really important stuff. The interpersonal relationships people have with their prospects. Really enjoyed his presentation to us."
"After decades of sales trainings and success in sales, I still didn't really know what goes on in a sale until I heard Eliot speak. At last, a true sales Master! And for once I not only stayed awake for the whole talk, but I couldn’t wait to hear more. Thank you Eliot for waking me up to a whole new sales world and even more success!"